Chapter 6

[asteralison]

 Chapter 6

 

“And do you want the duvet for the whole bed, or two small ones for the benches?” asked Einar, the young man showing them around their rental camper van. He’d already shown them the heater, the fridge, how the electric panel worked, the fan, and about five other things.

“Probably the two small,” said Jonathan, glancing quickly her way.

“Jonathan,” she said. “Lie down on the bench.”

“Why?”

“Humor me,” she answered.

Predictably he was too tall to fit comfortably. Einar and Melissa both laughed, and Jonathan looked a bit chagrined.

“The big duvet and sheets,” said Melissa.

Einar left to get them, and Jonathan spoke quickly, “Melissa—”

She interrupted. “It’ll be fine, it’s big enough for both of us, and truly, you cannot attempt to sleep with your feet hanging off the side of the bench for two weeks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am.” She smiled at him.

And, finally, they were ready. They each had a key, Melissa was an authorized driver, and Jonathan didn’t try to open the door for her when they climbed into the van.

“First stop: supermarket,” he said. “Once I get navigation set up.”

“This is so exciting,” she said. “I’m feeling like it’s not real.”

“You’ve had less than 24 hours to get used to the idea of this, no wonder it seems weird.”

“It’s also that I don’t think I’ve done anything this spontaneous in, well, ever. Yeah. Ever.”

He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you did. And sorry, I should have—”

“How about we don’t worry about small touches, pokes, and other OMG, I brushed up again him/her while cooking dinner? Because it’s a small space, I think we’re on a fast track to either deep friendship or killing each other, and it’ll just make life easier?”

“Sounds good. Though I do hope it’s friendship and not killing each other.” He got his cell phone securely into the cradle and input their destination.

“I can manage navigation if you want,” she said.

“Sure, whoever is not driving. Also, do you like listening to music or audiobooks or nothing?”

While they drove to the supermarket, they discussed music, quickly coming to conclusion that audiobooks or nothing was going to be the best solution. Jonathan listened to classical, which he admitted wasn’t great while driving, or indie music by various artists Melissa had never heard of. Melissa listened to Heavy Metal, and Jonathan cringed when she said it.

“Audiobooks, then.”

They both read science fiction and fantasy and had a surprising overlap on their likes and dislikes. They finally settled on the first book of a Seanan McGuire series and Melissa got it downloaded to her phone.

At the supermarket, Jonathan told her he had doubts about this trip, after finding out she did not like Nutella. “It’s the food of the gods, Melissa! Food. Of. The. Gods. How can you not like that?” They were both good with skyr and granola for breakfasts, and Jonathan picked up the fixings for several dinners. They bought crackers and cheeses. They bought apples and grapes. However, when Melissa went to grab some bananas, Jonathan stopped her.

“No bananas,” he said. “I don’t want to share space with them.”

“Oh, OK.”

He shook his head. “It isn’t that I’m picky, I used to eat them. They’re part of a group of fruits and veggies that can be problematic for people who are allergic to latex, so I try to avoid them.”

“Oh. Of course, that makes sense. What else?”

“Avocado and mango as well, and maybe chestnuts, but those aren’t common, so I don’t worry about them.”

“Good to know. I’ll remember.”

They bought a lot of junk food. They bought wine. Jonathan bought coffee. Melissa looked at the tea offerings.

“Oh,” said Jonathan. “I bought you some in London.”

He laughed. “I hadn’t thought about asking you to come with me, but since it looked like you liked that brand, whatever it was, I picked some up for when I had you to dinner, once we were back in Seattle.”

She looked at him. “You are one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met.”

He blushed.

 

“Where to?” she asked. “What is on our itinerary for the rest of the day?”

“Snæfellsjökull National Park,” he said.

“Ah! Don’t fall in or we’ll end up in Sicily?”

He laughed. “You read that too? Almost nobody reads that!”

“I tore through all of Jules Verne when I was a pre-teen. I took French in high school and college in hopes of being able to read them in the original.”

“And?”

“I’m actually fluent in French,” she said.

“That’s great! But let’s start there. There are a couple of stops along the way, and we can camp there tonight, finish exploring tomorrow.”

“Let’s do it!”

He got the van started, and then looked at her: “We’ll have to plan a trip to France at some point. You can translate.”

She didn’t know if he was serious, so she just smiled and nodded.

 

They stopped at a gas station so Jonathan could get his first fix of hot dogs and fries. He ate two and a half, she ate the other half, and some of the fries, which were good.

He went to get more fries and she checked her phone for the weather forecast. Temperatures were going to be in the mid-40s, about what she’d expected, but it was supposed to be sunny for the foreseeable future. She smiled at that.

“You seem happy?”

“Weather forecast looks good.”

‘Sunny and clear? Yeah. Mornings will probably be sub-zero, though. There is only so long one can count on nice weather this time of year.”

Melissa ended up driving after, and Jonathan described his reasoning for going clockwise rather than counterclockwise on the Ring Road around Iceland.

“So. How do you feel about the Arctic Circle?” he asked.

“Um. It’s North?” she answered.

“Have you crossed it?”

“Nope.”

“Want to?”

“I thought Iceland was below.”

“It is, mostly. There is a small island off the north coast that has a tip just into the Circle. It would be purely for bragging rights. There is a ferry, but in the interest of time, I was going to get a flight from Akureyri. Thoughts?”

“Sounds good. The one caveat is that I have never been in a small plane before. So you know. Big planes do not bother me, but I have no idea what’ll happen in a small one.”

“Well, if it’s just the two of us on a charter flight, we can have the pilot turn back if it’s too much. Have you always been scared of heights?”

“For as long as I can remember, yes. I don’t remember a specific incident or anything.”

“We’ll probably want to remove the lava tubes from the plan,” he said.

“No, why? You can do them! Just because I—”

“It’s not going to be as fun if you aren’t there.”

“Jonathan…” She checked mirrors before passing a slower vehicle. “The other night. On the Eye. I was scared, but I trust you. Maybe we can find some low stakes lava tubes?”

“Low stakes lava tubes sounds just… weird. Tomorrow there is a guided tour through one, Frances, not knowing, booked us. It’s a spiral staircase down”

“I can probably do that. The edges are controlled.”

He laughed. “Someday I will understand what are edges and what are not!” he said.

“Edges are… It’s a feeling rather than an actual definition. Some things make me sick, others don’t.”

“I never did get an answer as to how you managed to hike the Enchantments. There are some pretty scary edges there.”

She glanced quickly at him. “Ah yes. The Enchantments. I went up via Aasgard Pass, which was fine, because the edges don’t matter when you hike up and everything went ok until that nasty traverse with the rebar.”

“I remember that well. And you were going down, right?”

“I was. I got to that point and I had no idea what to do. That was, to be honest, the worse part of the whole hike. I, um, got myself off the trail to a rock and started to cry. I could have gone back, I know I could have, but then the idea of going down Aasgard Pass wasn’t appealing either. It was forward or nothing.”

“How did you do it?”

“I sat on my ass, closed my eyes, and went from rung to rung. I’d check to make sure it was safe on each one, take a deep breath and scoot down one rung, eyes shut. A few people passed me and every single one was encouraging and kind. A group of older women hiking together… one of them took my pack, so I only had to deal with getting me down. I cried. I squeezed my eyes shut. And I got through it.”

“You are an incredibly brave woman,” he said. His voice was soft.

She swallowed before answering. “Thank you.”

They stopped at a few waterfalls. After the second stop, as they were walking back to the van, Melissa bemoaned that she only had her cell phone camera.

“Stupid me, actually. I should have brought a camera,” said Jonathan. “Did France give you her shopper’s phone number?”

Melissa blinked. “Are you kidding me?” she asked.

“What?”

“Are you really going to call her and have her buy you a camera?”

“Yes. If she does that this evening or early tomorrow, she should be able to meet us tomorrow after the— What?”

Melissa was shaking her head. “Sorry. I cannot imagine life like that.”

“Yeah, me either, most of the time. Do you have her number?”

“I don’t. You’ll have to ask France.”

He must have heard something in her voice.

“This is bothering you?”

“….No.”

“Yes.”

They got to the camper. Jonathan was driving that leg and he started the engine and got the heater running.

“Can you tell me why this is making you uncomfortable?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not sure.”

He waited for a few moments, then put the van in gear.

 

Their last destination of the day, according to Jonathan’s plan, was Djúpalónssandur, a black pebble beach in the Snæfellsnes National Park. He grabbed his day pack, and they put on their warm gear. It was almost sunset, and the wind was biting. Melissa had put her hair into two plaits and pulled on a blue wool beanie with snowflake designs, happy that it was also lined with polar fleece.

They walked through the lava field to the beach, and then down to the water. They both stood for a while looking at the scenery then started to walk along to beach, far enough from the water to avoid getting caught by a wave. Melissa periodically stopped to pick up rocks and throw them into the ocean.

They found a sheltered spot against the cliffs and stopped. It was close to sunset, and Jonathan had already said he had a flashlight, in addition to the ones on their phones. They were standing next to each other, leaning against the rock, when Melissa started.

“It’s very clearly me, and not you, Jonathan. My fault.”

“OK?”

“I—I guess I always expect my friends to be like me. Upper middle class, reasonably well educated, liberal, agnostics or atheists. We are all about the same age. We agree that public school is good, the minimum wage should be higher, and that we need to do something about major about racism, health care, Covid, and the climate. You aren’t like me, and I’m finding it hard to reconcile.”

She heard his swallow. “How so? Age?”

“I’m not even talking about age. I guess that, even with how very much you’ve spent on helping me come along with you, I still… felt we lived in the same world. But we don’t, really.”

He was quiet for a long while. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I think I do, live in the same world you do, most of the time. But here… I just wanted to make it easy. I wanted you to have a perfect trip.”

“And don’t think I’m not grateful—”

“You don’t have to be grateful!” he said, sounding distressed. “I didn’t do it to make you grateful—”

He looked at her and shook his head. “I’m fucking this up.” His laugh was bitter. “There is a reason I haven’t had a friend since Robin. I’m sorry.”

“Jonathan,” she said. “You’re not fucking this up. It’s been wonderful. But you said last night that this was our trip, right?”

He nodded.

“Then we get to make the decisions, and screw up details, and eat at terrible restaurants, and backtrack to get gas because we forgot at the last town. France doesn’t have to bail us out. We have decent cell phone cameras, and those will take good enough pictures to remember this by. It doesn’t have to be a perfect trip; it just has to be our trip.”

He nodded again. “I think I understand.”

“You, me, and a camper van,” she said.

“You, me, and a camper van,” he repeated.

“Come on. Let’s find a better place to watch the sun set. We might actually see the Green Ray!”

“Let’s, Miss Campbell.”

She laughed. She hadn’t thought anyone else had read those books.

 

They had no luck seeing the green flash, but it was a beautiful sunset. They hiked back to the camper in the twilight and drove to their campsite. Jonathan cooked dinner, scrambled eggs, sausages, and mushrooms with toast, and she marveled at his collection of spices in TicTac containers.

“You don’t use spices?”

“Cinnamon for toast, cardamom and a few other things for baking. I have a collection of hot sauces in the fridge. Mostly, I don’t cook. I’m quite impressed at your abilities.”

“Robin and I taught ourselves to cook one summer.”

They took the dishes to the campground common room and washed them there. Jonathan talked a bit with the young German men who were playing a game of poker at one of the tables using beans as stakes. They offered to deal him in, but he declined.

Back at the camper, they both took out computers to work for a while. Jonathan made himself hot cocoa and Melissa a cup of tea. At about 11, Melissa got up and stretched.

“I’m going to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Umm… How do we want to deal with changing? Because I don’t want to walk back here in my pajamas!”

“Yeah. Go get ready, I’ll go when you get back, and then you avert your eyes while I change?”

“That should work.” They grinned at each other.

When she got back, Jonathan had taken down the table and started getting the bed set up. She helped, and it went faster with both of them.

“One thing, Melissa?”

“Yes?”

“Were you going to wear the silk and cashmere pajamas to bed?”

“I was, why?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. If, um, you were going to wear your others, I was going to have you check for elastic.”

“Elastic—Oh. Latex.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it would be ok, but since we’d be under the same covers…”

“Got it. No latex in bed.” She realized what she’d said. “Holy cow, how do you manage condoms?” she asked, then clapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, now THAT is really none of my business. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

He went to grab his bathroom stuff but before he left, she asked:

“Any preferences on sleeping? Left, right?”

He looked surprised and at a loss for a response.

“Either is fine,” he said after a few seconds.

“OK. I’m on the right if that’s ok then.”

“Sounds good!”

She shivered a bit when he opened the door to the camper and hopped out. She took a deep breath. With the curtain between the “living area” and the driver and passenger seats closed and fastened, the space was somehow more intimate. She changed into the blue-purple pajamas. They were warm and soft, and she smiled with pleasure. She found her Kindle and crawled into the bed. The duvet was fluffy, and she wondered if she’d be too hot but then remembered that the heater would be off all night.

Jonathan came back a few minutes later. “They’re still playing poker. The guy with the extra-long beard pretty much has all the beans. OK, I’m going to change now.”

“Not looking!” she said brightly, only feeling a slight bit of something when she heard him open the zipper on his jeans.

He got into bed. “OK to turn off the light?” he asked.

“Yup,” she said.

They both read for a while. Melissa could feel the van sway gently in the wind. She was warm under the covers. She turned off her Kindle and flipped over on her stomach.

Jonathan turned off his phone and the darkness enveloped them completely.

“G’night, Melissa.”

“Good night,” she said. “And Jonathan? You don’t suck at friendship. Sleep well.”

They’d shared a room the night before and it had not bothered her. This was so much closer, she could feel him when he flipped over on the bed, feel his warmth, and hear his breath. It took her a long time to fall asleep.

She vaguely woke to the click of the van door shutting. It was, as far as she could tell, still dark. Jonathan must have gone for an early morning run. She scooted over in the bed to the warm spot where he had been sleeping and buried her face in his pillow.

“Melissa?”

“Gnnmm?” She opened one eye. Jonathan was sitting on the bed next to her, already dressed and not in running tights. He pointed to a mug on the small counter. “I have tea, if you want to get up.”

She sat up. He’d opened the shades on one of the windows, so it was light enough for her to know it was day.

“What time is it? Did I sleep too late?”

“Nope, perfect.”

“You went on a run?”

“Yup. And got dressed. I’ll probably nap later, while you drive. But we’ll need to get to the swimming pool so I can shower tonight.”

“Tonight is Hafsos, right?”

“Yes, it is. Prettiest swimming pool in the country, by most accounts.”

“I’m going to go the restroom and I’ll be back to help with the bed and gulp down tea.”

“We’re not in a hurry.”

“You’re up, dressed, you’ve made coffee and tea, and I just crawled out of bed. I’m making us late!”

He grabbed her hand and held it. “You are not. Take your time.”

She stared down at her hand, not wanting to move. A breath, then two, three. They both seemed frozen, neither wanting to break the contact. Melissa finally withdrew her hand from his. “I’ll be right back.”

She grabbed her bathroom stuff, and clothes for the day, shoved her feet, sockless, into her hiking boots, and, not looking at him, hopped out of the van. She didn’t care that she was walking through the campground in her pajamas. She got to the main building and into a restroom stall as fast as she could.

She leaned against the door, still clutching her things, and worked to calm her breathing. She could not remember the last time she’d felt desire like that. This had not been the drowsy want of their slow dance in the hotel. This had been hot and burning, and she was still shaking from it. She’d thought, before, as she was deciding to go on this trip or not, that this would be a fun harmless time for her, a bit of dreaming and wanting a handsome younger man. But this… this was different. And she wasn’t even sure if any of her feelings were reciprocated. She was starting to think she’d gotten herself into a situation she wasn’t going to get out of without heartache and she told herself that no matter what, Jonathan should not know, and that she’d do her best to not hurt him.

Eventually she calmed down and managed to get ready for the day.